Aqua's Story

By Lisa "Elle" Merrai

We are a family of six living a charmed modern city life. A confluence of external and internal events have propelled us to reconsider a lifetime of assumptions and make some really big changes. Join us as we explore the new frontiers of conscious living.

“I think God gave pets shorter life-spans so we would learn to not take life for granted.” I said. I heard my voice speak these words as my mind and heart sank deeper. A familiar depth, but one I have not seen for more than twenty years.

My daughter paused and then said, “you should write a story about that.”

Mmmmmm. Maybe.

Aqua died today. A horse tripped over him. The horse my daughter rode. It was a perfectly timed collision of random events that resulted in a freak accident. No obvious signs of harm and yet he teetered and fell. On the way to the Vet his heart stopped. His spirit left his body in my children's arms. What can I possibly do to protect them from this moment? It is fraught with impossible questions. I wish it had been me there. Watching his soul drift away, knowing it was no one's fault. Why couldn't he have died in my arms?

Aqua was a gentle soul; our patient teacher, leaving indelible lessons in our hearts. His joyful energy and enthusiasm for the simple pleasures of a scratch behind the ear, a game of fetch or a swim in the water. He was aptly named for our family loves the water of the Bay and the Columbia. He was our water baby, our buddy, our boy.

If I ever felt lonely, he was there. If I ever felt scared, I would simply say “who’s there?” and his giant bark would scare away the shadows. Now it is we who must learn to chase away the shadows of our grief.

Aqua is buried on our land, but this is not our "forever" land. It seems like a cruel irony that he would die before we reach the land he in part inspired me to seek out. How can I go forward without him?


I know that Aqua wanted us to make this journey back to nature. I learned from our daily walks to watch the skies and listen to the music on the wind. He showed me that there is much more to know about the world than what is contained in books or other people’s experiences. Life is in the seemingly mundane. The simplicity of a roll in the grass, the gift of a sunbeam cascading in the perfect spot and the joy of games and laughter with those you love most in the world.

Unconditional love. Aqua never complained with each demotion as a new member of our pack was born. He accepted his place and loved each one with patience and devotion. He seemed to understand that the baby who poked him mercilessly would soon become the agile child who could throw his ball or over indulge him with treats. He seemed to genuinely love each of us in his own way as we each loved him in our own way, too.

Aqua was, in many real ways, our first child. He kept us awake all hours of the night as a baby. Tested our patience as a young pup and asserted his unique personality in the household. We made so many mistakes and he forgave them all.

Though he had been ailing for a couple of years, Aqua always perked up once we arrived in the NW for summer. I reassured him through all the moving and upheaval the past few months that it would all be worthwhile. He would soon be "home." I think he understood.

He was loved. And he loved us in ways we miss terribly. There was more than one heart that broke today. We will find a way to go on, with his spirit nudging us towards a richer life.


Aqua Vit 1997-2009 For more on this charming family: http://on-purpose.blogspot.com

Aqua Vit 1997-2009 from Elle Onpurpose on Vimeo.

Editor's note: This story is posted with immense gratitude to Lisa and Aqua.